Goodbye for Now

I started this blog when my grandfather passed away several years ago. I wrote. It felt therapeutic and provided me comfort as I was grieving. I felt moved in a way that I hadn't in a long time and the words just came out.

Today, I write again, as I have just learned that my grandmother has passed. I feel those same feelings of grief, and in turn, the feeling that words will help me through this sad process. She was wonderful. Caring, generous, thoughtful, and super hip for a grandmother. She had impeccable taste and a fun spirit that she carried with her where ever she was. She was loved by all who knew her, especially my grandfather.

For those of you who knew my grandparents, you knew how wonderful they were. You understand how lucky I was to have them in my life. They were in love. The definition of the perfect role models. Married for 64 years. Deeply committed to one another. Happy. They built a beautiful life together. I hope for all those things and will strive to live by their example.

There is something different about my grandmother's death though. It's more final than my grandfathers. Not final in that her death is differnet then his, death is death and the ultimate finality, but rather with her passing, it is the end of a unit. The end of them as one. The end of them as the pinnacle of my family. So, in other words, not only am I grieving her death, but I'm also grieving the death of a function of my family.

I am no stranger to death. I see it often in my work. In fact, it's part of my work on a daily basis. I counsel those who are dealing with death and I strive to help them find peace in complete and total sadness. I'll be the first to say it is different when it is your own family. I must use my own experience of sadness and loss and take it with me in my work. It will make me a better social worker, therapist, and person.

I know from this work, and from my faith, that death is simply a goodbye for now. For those who believe that we will all be together someday, we relish in the thought that death is simply a temporary separation. We look forward to the day that we all live together peacefully in heaven. I know that is certainly what my grandmother was looking forward to. She wasn't whole without my grandfather and I can rest assured that she is now. She is with him in heaven and they are smiling down on us for eternity.

Love always, to my incredible Mamaw and Papaw

-lindsay

"To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die"- Thomas Campbell